Pop! Part two

So, I haven't written for a while and I do apologize for that, but now I have quite a few things that I need to write about, so there will probably be a few posts coming up in relatively quick succession.

Ok, so let me start with the first thing that has been on my mind.  First of all, I know I have written before about people guessing if I am going to be having a boy or a girl.  I still say that it's a boy, but whatever.  Anyway, there are all kinds of old wives tales out there that are supposed to help you predict what you're having.  There's my favorite - the one about stealing the mother's beauty, which I've already addressed as some people have already commented to me about that...bastards.  Then, there's the other one about spread.  I know I have already written about spread in an earlier post, but apparently, I am continuing to spread quite readily because more and more people at work have been coming up to me either telling me that they are CONVINCED I'm having a girl (hmmmppphhh) or that they think I am going to deliver early.  Now, I don't know how you guys interpret that latter comment about delivering early, but I tend to interpret it as, "My, your ass is getting bigger by the day!"  Along with that have been more comments such as, "Wow!  You're even bigger this week" and the all time favorite of "I think you've dropped" which translates into "Holy crap.  How much bigger can you really get before that kid pops out?!?!"

Now, I had been thinking that I was doing pretty well.  My maternity pants have continued to fit (after that debacle of the shrinking pair that didn't fit my butt after a week), my weight is relatively stable with only the weight gain the baby should have, and I am still able to wear some of my shirts that I have had all along (granted, they are not able to cover the gut as well as they used to, but THEY FIT, DAMN IT!)  I think I finally had to come to the realization that I was, in fact, growing into only a house, not a whole housing complex, when I got up one morning and went to take the dogs out and dropped one of the leashes.  This, in and of itself, was harmless, but I knew there was a problem when I couldn't reach all they way to the ground to pick it up without bending at the knees.  "Oh My God! I think I just became an 80 year old man!"  To make matters worse, later in that SAME week, I wanted to put my socks on and couldn't do it without grunting, rolling backwards onto the bed, and shamefully whining for Nicole to come and help me get them on.  Then, to make matters even worse yet (yes, they get even worse yet) I had my first experience of having difficulty getting off the couch without grabbing on to things or having someone help me up.  This is becoming a bit ridiculous.  I think it all became readily apparent to me how bad things were when, earlier this week, I was sitting on the floor talking to one of my students who was having a particularly bad day, when it was time for both of us to get up and leave the area we were talking in.  Only problem?  Yeah, you guessed it, couldn't get up from the floor.  I pathetically looked at the kid and said, "Ok, now that you're feeling better, I need you to do me a favor".  With that, the kid, who's about 9, quickly stood up and said, "I'm on it!" and reached out his hands to help me get up from the floor.  Pathetic.  Oh, and I need to make a correction from an earlier statement.  Apparently, I am NOT an 80 year old man, but rather an 80 year old with a fake hip and two artificial knees.  And the scary thing is that I still have quite a few weeks to go.  Oh boy...or girl.