In these very tough economic times, I consider myself extremely lucky that both Nicole and I have secure jobs that pay our expenses and we can still afford cable. And, while I realize that we are very lucky, I have also come to the realization that I am not a fan of my job. I understand that many people are in the same boat as I am and that there are only a lucky few out there who can say they actually enjoy going to work everyday...I am not one of those people. I came to the realization that I truly do not enjoy my job one little bit when I found myself waking up and going, "Ok. It's Wednesday. I just have to get through today, tomorrow, and Friday, and then it's the weekend" only to have the weekend arrive and I'm in a horribly foul mood come Saturday night because I realize there is only one more day off and then it's back to work. I thought, "Holy crap! I have a job where I am actually wishing my life away". Doesn't that just suck a witch's tit.
I have had fantasies about leaving my job and doing something else. Sometimes those fantasies involve me opening a bar on a beach on some wonderfully pristine island with white sands, crystal clear blue water, and a slew of happy and extremely generous wealthy people waiting to share their wealth with me in exchange for a wonderfully intoxicating beverage. I think it would be great to just have a little hut and make wonderful, fruity drinks with umbrellas. Maybe RM could be a cocktail waitress or something...then I think about what that whole thing would really be like: first, there's the whole sand thing (again, revisit my "Vacation" post if you forget my issues with sand at the beach); then there's a bunch of drunk, obnoxious tourists who can be so completely annoying (I speak from experience on this one folks. Remind me to tell you about a college trip to Venezuela sometime...oh boy), and tsunamis (that would just really suck). So, beach bar proprietor is out. Then I have fantasies that inevitably involve me doing something on t.v. Maybe work for Sesame Street or do something for Saturday Night Live (actually, that would be my absolute DREAM JOB to write for SNL. I have my skits lined up in my head. If anyone out there knows Lorne Michaels, send him the link to the blog as a writing sample. Be sure to pick some of the better entries, though, ok?). I know I have a better chance of contracting malaria while climbing to the top of Mt. Everest than I do of becoming a writer on SNL, but this is my fantasy, ok! Stop being such a freaking downer! I also have fantasies that involve me doing something with food. You know, like I could open a food truck or something. I don't know what I would serve, but I'm sure I could come up with something...maybe a truck that only serves...uh...I'd serve...on second thought, I'm not going to share my food truck idea with you. I figure, that is the one fantasy that I have the best shot at, so I'm keeping all of my food ideas to myself. Sorry. Go get your own damn food truck ideas.
But, for now, I don't know Lorne Michaels, I don't have a food truck, I don't think I could serve drinks on the beach without drinking most of my profits, and I don't have any other great ideas, so I think I need to stick with my current job. But that doesn't mean that I'm not still looking for a way out. Here's my plan (not a fantasy plan, a real plan. There's a difference. Keep up.): I'm going to hit the lottery. I don't mean, I'm going to hit 3 numbers and win $50 (although, I would accept that). No, no. I'm going to hit the mega millions, powerball lotto jackpot. I have a plan on how to do it, too. I'll even share my plan, ready? I'm going to pick the winning numbers. It's really so simple that I can't believe no one has taken this approach before. Just pick the numbers. Jeez. And then, when I do hit it big, you know the first thing I'm going to do? Whoa, slugger. Slow down. The first thing I'm going to do is cash in the ticket to make sure it's truly a winner. Then...again, slow down...and stop interrupting me. Then, I'm going to pay off my bills and then, yes, I'm going to quit my job and open a food truck on the beach where I perform original comedy skits for my drunk, obnoxious tourist customers.
No comments:
Post a Comment