Morning sickness?!?!?!

Now, I am going to be 16 weeks tomorrow and haven't been sick in about 10 days, so I think it is finally safe for me to talk about this topic. Morning sickness. Ok, so I want to know what sick and twisted mind came up with the term "morning sickness". First of all, that is a complete freaking misnomer. Why? Because it doesn't limit itself to mornings. Oh, hell no. It can happen in the morning, afternoon, evenings, middle of the night, dawn, dusk, or whenever the hell it wants to. So it should really be called "Whenever the hell the mood strikes sickness". Maybe I'll start a petition to have that changed. Who would I talk to about that? In any case, whatever this little embryo is doing in there it sure did churn up quite a storm. Let me start from the beginning with this one because it is quite an ordeal.

My first boot (aka puke, yak, vomit, spew, prayer to the porcelin goddess, or act of regurgitation - please select your favorite phrase and use it in place of boot in the future) took place at work in the middle of the afternoon in early June while I was facilitating a petting zoo activity for the kids. I was casually eating an apple, making sure the staff and the unsuspecting animals were prepared for the onslaught of overly excited, touchy feely kids, when I began to choke on a small piece of apple. When I say small piece of apple, it was more like a piece of the skin that had stuck to my throat and was just kind of pissing me off. So, I began coughing. No big deal. Cough. Still stuck. Cough a little more. Still stuck. Better cough some more. Oops! I have triggered a bit of an involuntary coughing fit now. Wait?! What's this? What's happening? I don't under...BOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Actually, it was more like projectile booting clear from one side of the petting zoo trailer to the other (No, not lengthwise. I'm not THAT good a booter). I remember looking at the pile of my used up apple and thinking, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?!?"

Little did I know that one projectile would be the first in a long line of incidents that would be wholly unpleasant. On the bright side, however, I was convinced my abs were going to be slamming!!!! Yeah...not quite. It was a moment of nutrient deprived insanity. There would be many more of those to follow. So many more, in fact, that I decided to keep a list of all the places that I graced with my increasingly impressive booting skills. I guess this would be a good time to share that list with you. I don't know if this is actually entertaining to anyone else but me, but I don't really care...I lie. I do care, but I'm going to publish the list regardless of what you all may have to say about it! Please note that any place I was sick in had absolutely nothing to do with the food, but had more to do with the little squatter taking over my body, so I hope no one misintreprets this list to mean anything else other than I had a terrible case of "Whenever the hell the mood strikes sickness (formerly known as "morning sickness"). Ok, here goes:

Work - the black top; the back parking lot, the nurse's office, and the parking lot behing Stop & Shop;
Home - of course, but always in the bathroom (thank God);
my parent's house - again, only in the bathroom;
Nicole's parent's house - bathroom (any house is in the bathroom unless otherwise specified);
The Hudson Hotel;
Le Parker Meridian hotel lobby bathroom;
the new Yankee stadium;
Nicole's Aunt Pat's;
some pub in Stamford;
Penny Lane Pub;
Bistro 52;
the Wood 'n' Tap parking lot (I didn't eat there. Hell, I didn't even make it out of the car);
Newington Pizza parking lot (again, didn't even make it out of the car);
Chili's parking lot (still in the car);
Margaritaville;
Mohegan Sun;
The Woodwinds;
West Farms mall parking lot;
John Harvards;
East Robbins Ave;
the Berlin Turnpike.

I think that's the whole list, but it is possible that I missed a few places that were so lucky to be able to re-view my nutritional intake. The kicker behind all of this, however, is that despite all of this regurgitation, I HAVE STILL PUT ON 10 LBS!!!!!!! That's just so wrong on so many levels I can't even begin to put it into words...uh...well, I guess technically, by writing it I have already begun to put it into words, but whatever. You know what I'm saying. GIVE ME A BREAK, OK!!! I've only recently been able to keep down solid foods!!!!


Oh, and by the way, for those of you who have successfully posted comments on here, would you be so kind as to let me know how that was done because I have had several people say they can't figure out how to do it and I'll be damned if I can figure it out. Again, only recenlty been able to eat solid foods...ok?